By Raymond Anthony Fernando, Mental Health Advocate & Caregiver
Taking care of a loved one with a physical illness is no easy task. However, in my opinion, caring for a loved one with mental illness can be even more challenging, especially when your loved one has a serious mental illness such as bipolar disorder or schizophrenia.
This is because the symptoms of mental illness can vary from person to person and the behaviour of persons with mental illness can be unpredictable. Thus, it is important for caregivers to read up as much as they can and to learn the skills of supporting their loved ones with mental disorders.
Regrettably, many people often view caregiving as a burden, rather than a responsibility. That responsibility I took seriously when I married my wife, Doris Lau Siew Lang, 40 years ago, despite knowing that she had schizophrenia. In my four decades of caring for my late wife, she had 15 relapses, 12 of which required hospitalisation.
During those trying times, I became her emotional ‘punching bag’ when she was not in the correct state of mind. Recalling my marriage vows which I took on 26 November 1974: “To love and care for my wife in sickness and in health, for better or for worse…” I cast away my fears and prayed. That marriage commitment, combined with my daily prayers and the support of healthcare workers at IMH, helped bring Doris back to her normal bubbly self.
I have also experienced first-hand that whenever Doris encountered a physical condition with prolonged and intense pain, it would trigger a relapse of her mental illness.
Here are some tips to bring out the best in your care recipients.