In a world where success is often tied to achievement, even high achievers can face self-doubt. Dr Ong shares the story of a young patient who avoided school for three weeks, overwhelmed by anxiety and a fear of making mistakes.
From a young age, she was compared to high-achieving peers and felt constant pressure to prove herself with good grades. Hers was not merely a case of anxiety. It was a clear example of how perfectionism, mental health and self-esteem are interconnected, and can make daily life more challenging.
In the case of an all-or-nothing mindset, a child may strive for perfection and tie her worth to her academic achievements. She may blame herself for falling short instead of learning from setbacks. This can impact her self-esteem negatively.
Low self-esteem doesn't just affect those who struggle with their grades - it can affect even those who seem to have it all in life. But with the right support, like school counselling, therapy and encouragement from loved ones, children can learn to see success in their own way and feel better about themselves.
Self-esteem is also closely tied to body image, which refers to how one views their physical self. These issues become more pronounced during puberty, which brings about rapid physical changes. As youths become more self-aware and feel the pressure to fit in with their peers, they may start comparing themselves with each other. Sometimes, this leads to poor body image.
Unrealistic beauty standards portrayed in social media also adds undue pressure on those who struggle with body image. Family members may also affect a child's body image if they constantly criticise their appearance.
When negative body image is not addressed, youths can become fixated about their weight and engage in unhealthy eating or exercise habits. They may also obsess about or constantly criticise their own appearances.
For a few, low self-esteem and body image problems can become too difficult to handle alone, leading to low self-esteem or place the youth at risk of depression and eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia.
Supporting a child's emotional and social well-being is key to helping them develop a strong sense of self-worth. Dr Ong shares practical strategies for parents and caregivers:
Unconditional love and validation - When parents and caregivers show consistent care and love, children develop healthy self-esteem to cope with challenges. At the same time, setting healthy boundaries and limits helps the child learn responsibility and self-discipline.
Celebrate your child's uniqueness - Recognising and respecting every child as a unique individual builds the foundations for healthy self-esteem and confidence. Encourage them to take part in sports, art or volunteering. Allow them to explore their interests and make choices, such as choosing a weekend activity. Avoid putting your child down or being overly critical.
Maintain a healthy balance - While celebrating the child's strengths, parents should also constructively address weaknesses. Encouraging a growth mindset, where mistakes are seen as chances to learn, helps build resilience.
Teach emotional resilience - Share with your child that thoughts and feelings such as anger, disappointment and sadness are part of life. Teach them to recognise and manage these emotions by reassuring them that negative feelings are usually transient.
Be a positive role model - Parents can share how they handled life changes, showing that these are normal and not always negative. Model body positivity and self-acceptance by making a healthy body and mind the focus.
Foster meaningful friendships and support networks - Encourage youths to form positive friendships that help them build empathy and appreciation for others. A strong support system also builds a sense of belonging and reinforce self-worth in the long term.
By creating a safe and supportive space, parents and caregivers can help children build confidence and handle challenges in life. It also helps to work closely with your child's teachers and school counsellors, who can contribute to a child's self-confidence. If you notice your child showing worrying behaviours such as extreme dieting, seek professional help early.
