Anger is a natural human response to perceived threats. When a person experiences anger, they may notice their heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your adrenaline and noradrenaline. These physical responses are the body’s instinctive response to being attacked.
But anger, much like fire, can turn destructive when it gets out of control. Being unable to manage our anger can lead to problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life.
Therefore, it is important to manage our anger and the aggression that arises from it. While we can’t get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage us, nor can we change them, but we can learn to control our reactions to achieve a better outcome.
Some tips to help get anger under control:
-
Take a ‘timeout’. Although it may seem unbelievable, counting to 10 or taking deep breaths before reacting really can help defuse your temper.
-
Get some space. Walking away or distancing yourself from the situation can help defuse your temper and give you a better perspective of things.
-
Learn to express your anger in a constructive way. It’s healthy to express your frustration in a non-confrontational way. Some healthy ways include hobbies that you enjoy. It can even be as simple as doing housework.
-
Get some exercise. Physical activity not only provides an outlet for your emotions, it also has the added advantage of producing calming endorphins to relax you. Go for a brisk walk or a run or swim.
-
Practice relaxation skills. Learning skills to relax and de-stress can also help control your temper. Practice deep-breathing exercises or visualise a relaxing scene. Other proven ways to ease anger include listening to music, writing in a journal and doing yoga.
-
Think carefully before you say anything. Otherwise, in the heat of the moment, you’re likely to say something you’ll regret. It can be helpful to write down what you want to say so that you can stick to the issues.
-
Identify solutions to the situation. Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work with the person who angered you to resolve the issue at hand. Use ‘I’ statements when describing the problem. This will help you to avoid criticising or placing blame.
-
Don’t hold a grudge. If you can forgive the other person, it will help you both. Focus on moving forward.
-
Use humour to release tensions. Humour can help diffuse tension. Sharing a joke or looking at the situation in a light hearted way helps diffuse the situation. In some extreme cases of poor anger control, a review by a mental health professional may be beneficial.
